


Foreign Exchange Club Episode 7-Ran Jing Bull

by egyptian



Category: None - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-09 20:10:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19893646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/egyptian/pseuds/egyptian
Summary: If you can read this, get out now. This series isn't going to get any better.





	Foreign Exchange Club Episode 7-Ran Jing Bull

[Shot opens on a handmade banner that reads “Kiku and Shizu present-Maya's Fantastic World of Illusion!” Cut to one of the school classrooms. Maya, Kiku and Shizu are standing on one side, the Principal on the other. Maya is wearing a top hat and tuxedo jacket. Between the girls and the principal is a basket with a number of swords stuck through it]

Principal: No! Absolutely not! Ms. Endo what did I tell you the last time you tried something like this?

Maya: (sighing) Something about how you didn't approve of me performing.

Principal: No! What I said was you were forbidden from ever doing anything like this again.

Kiku: But she's been practicing so hard!

Principal: Ms Ito, I would like to remind you that it was /you/ who nearly fell to your death during the last performance. The only reason you weren't paralyzed is because fortune favors a fool!

Maya: Oh come on, all this because of one little slip-up? How was I supposed to know that the rope was going to burn so fast? Or that she was going to have trouble getting out of that straitjacket?

Principal: (mopping his face in frustration) You have one hour to get all of this stuff out of here. That is final!

Maya: But...

Principal: FINAL!

[The principal storms off. Shizu walks up to the camera and bows apologetically]

Shizu: Well it looks like our segment is going to have to be cut short. Tune in next time when Kiku and I will teach you all the art of bullfighting!

[The principal leans into the classroom]

Principal: NO!

[roll opener]

[Cut to the classroom. Lynn is sitting next to Maya. Both are sweating over a test that they're working on.]

Teacher: Pencils down!

[Most of the students sigh in exasperation. The class rep walks around and gathers up the quizzes. Once the papers are turned in Lynn leans over a bit to talk to Maya]

Lynn: That was brutal.

Maya: Tell me about it. I think I only filled out half the answers. 

Lynn: So you were saying that your talent show entry got rejected?

Maya: Yeah, I'll have to go back to the drawing board. Stupid school with it's strict adherence to safety regulations. There used to be a little something called showmanship! (waves fist)

Lynn: Got any ideas?

[Cut to the back of the school at the Wheel of Calamity. In the background the rocket launch truck is still parked on the soccer field and the fire damage is still visible. Maya is standing in front of the platform in front of the principal]

Principal: Absolutely not! 

Maya: Again? Why do you have to shoot down every idea I have?

Principal: Ms Endo, firstly you don't have a driver's license. Secondly, how would you propose to get this “Super Stuntmobile” into the auditorium? Now if you'll excuse me I have to determine this week's challenge so that you girls can get down to the business of suffering yet another ignoble defeat.

[Maya pouts as the principal turns his attention back to the Wheel of Calamity. The wheel is spun and we see it pass results like “Work in a Steel Mill”, “Pie Eating Contest” and “Solve the Lament Configuration” before finally slowing down and stopping on “Boxing!” The principal is about to announce the result when a teacher hands him a piece of paper. He quickly scans the result and then moves up to speak]

Principal: Alright ladies, as you can see the result is Boxing.

Nanae: A fight? Yes!

[All of the Foreign Exchange Club members cheer and jump around, hi5ing Nanae]

Junko: This one is in the bag!

Shizu: We're finally going to win. Nanae is the most dangerous ever!

Principal: Alright settle down! Before you select your representative for the boxing match the following students are ineligible to participate in club activities this week due to poor test results on today's quiz. 

[The camera cuts to each girl's face as she reacts to the announcement]

Principal voiceover: Ito Nanae...Watanabe Oki...Lynn Tracy...Sasaki Kumiko...Kandegawa Junko...Endo Maya...Nakamura Gin...Sato Yayoi...Suzuki Ming.

[Everyone turns and looks at Kiku]

Kiku: Ah, did you forget my name?

Principal: (looks at his paper) No Ms. Ito. You passed and are the only member of the Foreign Exchange Club eligible to fight against Sakai High.

Kiku: Did you hear that?!

Nanae: Yeah, it's going to be tough...

Kiku: I got the best test score! I'm the smartest!

Junko: Yes, but...

[Kiku runs off grinning ear to ear]

Sakai 1: (Walking over to confront the group) Well well well. Looks like you're going to have some trouble on Friday.

Nanae: Don't you worry. Kiku is a lot tougher than she looks.

Sakai 1: Oh I bet. She better be. See, we've got our own exchange student now and she's going to teach your little sister a lesson she won't soon forget. See you in the ring!

[The Sakai girls walk off. Kiku suddenly runs back in with Yayoi's boom box. She hits play and “Let Me Clear My Throat” by DJ Kool starts to play. Kiku starts to dance clumsily in celebration]

Maya: Wow, so do you think she even understands what's going on?

Nanae: No, not at all. Let's let her have her moment before we break the bad news to her.

[Cuts to the club room. Kiku looks to be in a near panic. Everyone else is forming something of a semi-circle around her]

Kiku: What? No way! There has to be some other way.

Gin: Yes, the other way is we forfeit and listen to those Sakai girls mock us for another week. This is the sixth challenge Kiku! We have to win or we can't possibly pull this off.

Junko: Are you guys sure about this? I mean this is Kiku we're talking about. She couldn't hurt a fly. How can we ask her to do this? It's too much.

Lynn: I want to agree with Junko, but what else can we do? We've got no other choice.

Kumiko: It's too much to ask, but we still have to ask it. Kiku, you're our only hope. Will you please fight for us?

Kiku: I...(looks around at everyone)...I guess I could try. 

Yayoi: That's the spirit! You can do it!

Maya: Hell yeah! Kiku is the strongest of them all!

Kiku: I'm going to need help though. (looks at Nanae) I'll need someone to teach me what to do.

Nanae: Well I think we...

Gin: (butting in) And you'll have the best trainer in the world...me! 

Nanae: You?1

Gin: Yes me! I happen to have three qualities that none of the rest of you have. One, I have a trainer's hat (puts on a wool stocking cap). Second, I actually know the rules of boxing. Nanae might be tough but she's a karateka, not a boxer. Thirdly and most importantly, I'm the only one who doesn't have to study for her re-test, because I had a doctor's note excusing me from the test this morning. I didn't FAIL like the rest of you fools!

Nanae: I don't know about this.

Junko: Me neither.

Kumiko: Gin does have a point though. None of the rest of us are allowed to engage in club activities until we do the re-test on Thursday afternoon. By then it'll be too late. Gin might just have to do it.

Kiku: Don't worry big sis, Gin is really smart and I'll try my hardest. It'll be okay.

[Nanae doesn't look convinced but the rest of the girls decide to chime in and offer their support. Cut to the outside of a seedy looking gymnasiu. Cut to the inside, where we can see a boxing ring and the usual training equipment. Kiku is dressed in an ill-fitting warm-up suit and Gin is wearing her regular clothes except for the stocking cap. Gin is holding a thermos]

Gin: The first thing we have to do is change your diet to something more appropriate for a training fighter. (hands over the thermos) Here, drink this.

Kiku: (looking inside) This is full of raw eggs.

Gin: Pure power! It'll be like you're running on rocket fuel.

Kiku: I don't think I can drink this.

Gin: Sure you can! This is the secret to a boxer's amazing stamina and power. You said you'd do your best right?

[Kiku nods and starts to drink. Cut to Gin standing outside the ladies room. We can hear the sound of someone getting /very/ sick. ]

Gin: Kiku, how are you doing in there. Are you alright?

[There is a long silence, followed by the sound of someone getting very sick again. Cut to Shizu holding up a homemade sign]

Shizu: Meanwhile!

[Cut to Maya, Yayoi and Lynn sitting at a table in a yakitori restaurant]

Maya: I love this place. This chicken is so fresh it'll walk away if you eat too slow.

Yayoi: Gah! How can you say things like that?

Lynn: I just hope it gets here soon. I'm so hungry.

[Kumiko walks up and waves. Yayoi scoots over and makes a spot for her at the table]

Lynn: Kumiko! What a surprise. I don't think I've ever seen you outside the club room.

Kumiko: I was across the street seeing if I could get my camera fixed and I saw you guys.

Yayoi: Is the camera place inside the model store we all saw you walk out of.

Kumiko: (blushing slightly) Well it's still lucky that we were able to meet like this. We ought to discuss the challenge. I don't think Kiku is going to be able to win.

Lynn: Wait, does anyone think Kiku can win on her own?

[Maya and Yayoi shake their heads]

Lynn: Ah, okay.

Kumiko: Anyway, I think we're going to need to plan for the eventuality that we lose this challenge. If we lose we can't win enough events to pull it off in the end.

Maya: Yeah, that's right. What are we going to do?

Yayoi: You know, you guys should have a little faith. Kiku might not be a good athlete, or smart, or brave and sure Gin is completely full of it but they might just pull this off!

[All the girls look at Yayoi for a moment, then break down laughing]

Maya: That was good! I can't believe you kept a straight face.

Yayoi: Oh I know! I thought I was going to lose it there for a second.

[Cut back to the gym. Gin and Kiku are standing in front of the heavy bag. Kiku has oversized boxing gloves on]

Gin: Alright, show me some power!

[Kiku punches the bag, but only manages to push herself over backwards]

Gin: Hmm, maybe we should focus more on speed than power.

[Cut to Gin and Kiku in front of the speed bag]

Gin: Alright Kiku, let's see those lightning fast fists!

[Kiku throws a punch at the speed bag. The bag doesn't move and Kiku falls over backwards. She jumps up and tries hitting it again, then pushing with both hands and finally hitting it with a board. Despite all of her efforts she can't get the bag to move. Kiku sits down and tries to catch her breath. While she's doing that Gin pushes on the bag with one finger, making it rock back and forth.]

Gin: Alright, we're going to focus on cardio! You'll wear that girl out!

[Cut to Kiku running while Gin follows on a bicycle. She makes it about one block, then collapses to her knees gasping for breath. Gin twitches a little. Cut to Nanae at a video game store. She's looking back and forth between Violent Fighter and Touch of Death, clearly unable to decide. While she's doing that two girls in Sakai uniforms enter the store on the other side of a shelf]

Sakai 1: Let's hurry up. If I get seen in here I'll die of embarrassment.

Sakai 2: Oh I know. So are you going to the fight?

Sakai 1: Oh yeah. It's going to be so great watching that little runt from Seifun get beaten around the ring. Ran Jing is a beast!

Sakai 2: I don't think she's human. I heard she's some sort of escaped science experiment.

Sakai 1: All I know is that girl from Seifun is dead meat. I heard every other member of her club chickened out and she's the only one who would fight.

Sakai 2: That wouldn't surprise me. They're such a bunch of cowards.

[Nanae scowls and clenches her fists, crushing both games. She suddenly becomes aware of what she's done and grimaces. Cut to a small arena. Students are filing in. Outside a sign reads “Tonight! Seifun vs Sakai!”. Cut to Kiku standing at the end of the walkway with Gin and Shizu]

Kiku: If I die will you guys make sure they don't do anything embarrasing to my body?

Gin: That's loser talk. You've got to have the will to win. Fighting spirit! You're a wrecking machine! That other girl doesn't have a chance!

Kiku: Really?

Shizu: (waving a small flag) Kiku is the strongest. You cannot be beaten!

Kiku: Yeah! You're right, I can do this. Oh! 

[“Milky Way” by Tan Tan Taan starts to play, so Kiku, Shizu and Gin start to walk down to the ring. Kiku gets in, then struggles to get her robe off. Finally Gin and Shizu are forced to pull on the robe while Kiku pulls the other way-Kiku falls and hits her head in the corner. She finally manages to get up and straighten herself up]

Announcer: Fighting from the blue corner and representing Seifun Maximum Security High School this is “The Dangerous Queen” Ito Kiku!

[The crowd cheers, with some boos mixed in]

Kiku: Dangerous Queen? Me?

Gin: That's just to intimidate your opponent. And did you hear that response from the audience? That poor girl is probably in the back room quaking in her boots. I bet she doesn't even come out.

[Tympani drums rumble as the stage on the far side of the arena slowly opens. The Sakai boxer Ran Jing slowly rises from the stage in a cloud of dramatic smoke, her arms folded in front of her. Camera cuts back to inside the ring]

Kiku: She..she looks really big and strong. What should I do Gin? Gin?

[The camera moves slightly, revealing Gin running for her life out of the building]

Kiku: Come back! I don't know what to do!

[Lynn, Kumiko, Maya and Yayoi fight their way through the crowd and jump the security railing. They gather at ringside.]

Kiku: Everyone! You came. (looks at Ran Jing getting into the ring) I'm going to die!

Kumiko: Alright, everyone calm down. Maya, Yayoi, go bring Gin back. Lynn, you second Kiku.

Lynn: What does the second do?

Kumiko: It's your job to throw the towel in if you think she's going to die.

Announcer: Fighting from the Red corner and representing Sakai high, this is China's God of Darkness, Ran Jing

[There is another chorus of boos and cheers as Kiku and Ran Jing meet in the middle of the ring. They touch gloves]

Kiku: (craning her neck to look up) I...I must break you!

[The bell rings and the two fighters begin to circle one another. Cut to outside the ring, where Maya and Yayoi have brought Gin back]

Kumiko: Gin how could you?

Gin: I forgot the water bottle. I was coming back. How is the fight going?

[Offscreen there's a horrible SMACK, then we see Kiku sliding on her face into the corner, arms at her sides. She slowly gets up]

Gin: Attagirl Kiku! 

Lynn: I'm going to stop this.

Gin: What? You can't throw in the towel in the first round.

Lynn: She's going to get murdered!

Gin: It's part of the plan. Don't worry.

[Maya walks off. After a few moments of terrifying beating up noises we see Kiku come flying upside down into the corner. She gets up and tries to climb out of the ring, but Gin is pushing her back in]

Kiku: Let me go! I don't want to die!

Gin: You're doing great! Look at how scared she is.

Kiku: She's only scared that she's going to go to prison for murder!

Gin: (laughs) You can't go to prison for killing someone in a boxing match.

[Kiku gets back in the ring and is about to get clobbered again when the bell rings. Gin and Lynn get up on the ring and Kiku sits in the corner. Gin brings out the water bottle, then starts to drink from it while Kiku watches.]

Lynn: Kiku, if you ask me to I'll throw the towel in. No stupid challenge is worth getting hurt over.

Kiku: (turning and looking at all her friends) No...everyone's counting on me. I have to find a way to win. I just have to!

[The bell rings and Kiku goes back out. Ran Jing throws a punch that misses, then Kiku throws what looks like a beautiful hook, but it doesn't phase Ran Jing at all.]

Ran Jing: Time to go to sleep.

[Ran Jing hits Kiku with an uppercut that lifts her off her feet. She goes right through the ropes to the floor. The viewpoint stays in the ring. After a moment Nanae, obviously disguised as Kiku climbs back into the ring in her place. Both the referee and Ran Jing immediately look suspicious of the deception. Cut to the outside of the ring, where Maya is sitting on a squirming bundle covered with a black sheet. The Principal walks over and eyes her]

Principal: What's going on here? Where the real Kiku? Is she in that bundle?

Maya: What? That's Kiku right there in the ring!

Principal: You're lying. Open that bundle! 

[Maya flips the bundle open, revealing nothing at all. The principal blinks. Behind them in the crowd Kiku is obviously there wearing a fake beard.]

Principal: How..?

Maya: Illusion!

[Cut back inside the ring. Nanae is avoiding all of Ran Jing's punches, then gets hit with a beauty of a right. Cut to X-ray view of Ran Jing's hand as every bone cracks at the same time. Nanae seems unphased, but Ran Jing stumbles back and clutches her hand.]

Nanae: (under her breath) When my opponent expands I contract. (dodges another punch) When my opponent contracts I expand. (ducks a wild swing) When there is an opening I do not strike. It strikes all by itself.

[Nanae starts to swing. Cut to a Buddhist temple up in the mountains. One of the monks suddenly looks up from his deep meditation]

Monk: What is this dark power I'm sensing?

[Cut back to the boxing ring. Ran Jing is laying in the ring, out cold. School officials from Sakai and Seifun are in the ring arguing]

Sakai guy: You switched fighters! This is unforgivable!

Principal: I promise you I did not know anything about this deception. I will get to the bottom of this. Ms Ito! Ms Ito where are you?

[Kumiko kneels next to Sakai's fighter and pulls one of her gloves off. A pair of horseshoes falls out onto the mat]

Kumiko: I knew it! I thought her punches seemed off balance. She was cheating!

[The officials resume their arguing all the more. Cut to the outside of the ring. Kiku is still in disguise but has a bag of ice strapped to her head. Everyone seems to be checking to see if she's alright]

Announcer: The referee has stopped this fight at 2:45 seconds of the second round and is throwing the fight out. Both fighters have been disqualified!

[The girls seem confused for a moment, then Shizu's face lights up]

Shizu: Double DQ! That means no winner.

Kiku: I'm still undefeated!

[The girls lift Kiku up and cheer. Cut to Gin counting out money and handing it to a shady looking guy.]

Gin: I can't believe Ran Jing lost! 

Bookie: That's the fight biz.

[Roll closer]


End file.
